Bill Asks Hillary If He Can Be The Vice President; Blames Idea On Vladimir Putin

Bill Clinton seemed to have made an affable adjustment to the possibility that Hillary will be the President and he will be "the first man." But his easygoing accommodation to wifely superiority was shattered when Vladimir Putin hinted at the KGB-clever move that, after his second Presidential term, he might run for the Russian Parliament.

Immediate implications: while Bill remained the first man, Vladimir would become the very leader of his majority party, which would nominate him as Prime Minister, while he and they worked to elect a weak President.

Noting the possibilities in stooping to conquer, Bill asked himself why he might not just as well stoop to become the Vice President. While not nearly as tall a calling as being the President, the role certainly seemed more comfortable than being the nation's inaugural first man.

The idea sounded like a no-brainer to him, so he was reportedly shocked by the rancor it evoked from Hillary.

"You want to be just like Vladimir Putin!" she is said to have shouted across the dinner table. "I read the news, too, slick Willy! You think I'm going to be a weak President just for you?"

"But, Hillary, you'll never be a weak President," he told her. "How can you ever be weak with a mouth like yours?"

"Just shut up, OK? And get used to it. You're going to be the first man, not the vice president!"

Naturally, the marital fireworks exploded to more spectacular displays from there.

So now Bill faces the distressing prospect of being the first man while Vladimir Putin manages to operate as Russia's surrogate President.

Why, Bill must ask himself, did he doddle away his training as a Rhodes Scholar when he might have trained with the KGB? Then he, too, might have been slick enough to slip past Hillary's objections and become the first President of the United States to become the Vice President.

About the Author

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience."