Democrats Face Reality. So We Thought We'd Interview Reality

As the Democrats move from electioneering to responsible governance, we hear they'll have to face reality. The question is, whose reality? Their own or George Bush's?

In order to throw some light on how the contention might evolve, we thought we'd interview Reality. So we jumped on the Metroliner and headed for Washington.

Reality was kind enough to meet with us between his busy activities in both houses of Congress. So, like it or not, here's Reality.

News Laugh: Thanks for consenting to an interview.

Reality: Glad to do it.

NewsLaugh: Then let's get right to it. Now that the Democrats are in control of Congress, how do you think things are going to shake out on Iraq?

Reality: Both sides are going to have to face reality.

NewsLaugh: We know that. That's why we're here. How much do you think the Democrats are going to be able to influence George Bush?

Reality: Let me put it this way. I'm willing to be responsive to the Democratic agenda.

NewsLaugh: You are?

Reality: Yes, but on the other hand, I have to be responsive to the administration.

NewsLaugh: And?

Reality: Even I have to face reality.

NewsLaugh: What does that mean?

Reality: It means that I have to take into consideration the downright jackass stubbornness of the President. The reality is, he's deaf to reality.

NewsLaugh: How do you deal with that?

Reality: I repeat myself. Then I repeat myself again.

NewsLaugh: Where does all that take us?

Reality: Where else? The Democrats get to have their way with me only so much, and the administration gets to have its way with me only so much. So we all come out somewhere in the middle.

NewsLaugh: Which means?

Reality: We don't get out of Iraq as fast as some Democrats would like us to, but we get out sooner than the administration would like us to.

NewsLaugh: We kind of figured that much. Can you be a bit more exact? After all, you're Reality itself.

Reality: My feeling is six months.

NewsLaugh: What do you mean by that?

Reality: Before anything happens.

NewsLaugh: We were kind of hoping for something sooner.

Reality: That's because you're not facing reality. It will be a couple of months before the Democrats develop an actionable agenda, a couple of more months before George Bush realizes they're really there, and at least two more months for both sides to disagree.

NewsLaugh: To disagree?

Reality: Yes. Both sides always have to do that so they can save face.

NewsLaugh: And that's six months?

Reality: At least. And that, my friend, is Reality.

About the Author

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience."